I Finally Found a Name for My Secret Tool: It's Called RAIN

Have you ever found yourself in the middle of a powerful emotion or intrusive thought and wished you had a secret tool to help you through it? For months now, I've been using a powerful, real-time intervention to navigate difficult emotions and intrusive thoughts. The only problem? I didn't know what it was called. I have finally been able to label this practice as RAIN, a tool created by meditation teachers Michele McDonald and Tara Brach.

I had no idea there was an actual practice that perfectly listed the four steps I've been using to regulate my nervous system when charged emotions or thoughts come up. As someone with CPTSD, a history of trauma, ADHD, and who is a year into sobriety, this practice has been life-changing. I am so excited to share it with you!

R: Recognize - The Art of Naming

The first step is simply to recognize the emotions and thoughts as they arise, without judgment. The key is to see them as information, like a weather report for your inner world. The practice of externalizing the experience helps to create that crucial psychological distance between you and the feeling. This allows you to say, "I am noticing a feeling of shame," instead of, "I am a shameful person."

A: Allow - The Radical Act of Non-Resistance

This is a transformative step, especially for people with a history of trauma. To allow whatever arises—even pain—to just be and not resist it. Allowing is a radical act of surrender. It doesn't mean you like the feeling, but you are consciously choosing to stop fighting it. If resistance does arise, you can simply acknowledge it: "I notice that I'm resisting this feeling, and I will allow that resistance to be here, too." This acceptance is the beginning of letting go.

I: Investigate - With Compassionate Curiosity

Next, bring a gentle curiosity to your physical and emotional experience. You can ask yourself:

• "What am I feeling right now?"

• "Where do I feel this in my body?"

• "What is the underlying root here?"

For me, it has been my experience that it is helpful to address my inner child when these charged emotions and thoughts arise. The intrusive thought or out-of-control spiral wasn't you—it’s a part of you that is hurting and needs attention. Investigate from a compassionate observer's perspective, like a gentle detective trying to understand a vulnerable friend.

N: Nurture - With Radical Self-Compassion

The final and most powerful step is to nurture yourself. Place a hand on your heart and repeat a kind mantra, such as: "This is hard. It is okay to feel this way. This thought and feeling will pass." As you do this, try to relax your face, your jaw, and your tongue, and then breathe deeply through your nose with a slow exhale. This sends a clear signal of safety to your nervous system.

One of the biggest things I’ve learned to use to shift my mindset is catching the inner critic. I challenge you to pay attention and try to catch those harsh, critical thoughts and reframe them with compassion and love. Repeat after me: "I'm human, and we all make mistakes. Did I learn anything from this to do differently next time?"

Be kind to yourself and genuinely let it go. This is the path to freedom. The more you practice this, the more natural it will come. So keep going.

Learn more about my upcoming WORKSHOP>> Reclaiming Your Body from the Bottom Up: Root Down to Rise Up

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